Unapologetically Apostolic

A box sits up on the table, wrapped in colorful paper tied up with a bow. What could be inside of it, no one really knows. It could sit there for hours, for a day or two you see, but until you look inside of it, it remains a mystery. Each day is like this box, sitting so nicely in its place. We do not know what it will hold until that ribbon is unlaced. There is no wonder that the day is a present for when it is given it cannot be taken away. It is there to be enjoyed and lived in every way.  This Christmas season, there is a box that's wrapped just for you. Peter spoke about about it long ago and the words still ring true. Repent, and be baptized, in the name of Jesus Christ. Receive the gift of the Holy Ghost and forever change your life. 

In March of 2021, I was as lost as I could be. I had no purpose, no plan and felt that all I had was me. While I had people around me, outwardly appearing just fine, no one knew that I felt dead inside. Then by chance a video came across my Facebook feed, hearing a preacher speak directly to me. Things I had heard before in what I felt was another life, opened my eyes to what had become my plight. As the days slowly passed till I could speak to this man, the words which he had spoken were kept close at hand. Replaying and rewatching clinging to every word, wanting to leave no doubt as to what it was that I heard. Once I stepped foot slowly inside of that hallowed place, the Spirit I had longed for stood stong in my face. As I crumpled in tears in the presence of pure grace, knowing He had kept me protected while He led me to this place. As these years have passed since walking through those doors, He has given me a family here and so very much more. I have friends that are closer than ...

Throughout my time in the non-denominational church, many times I would hear messages about leaving a legacy for those who would come behind. "Raising a standard, leaving a memorial" became a mantra for those who called this church home. But what standard was raised? What was the memorial which was left?  This evening, I heard a young evangelist, yes only 19 years of age, preach a message on not giving up on your inheritance. Throughout the message, he shared how men of God had raised that standard before him. Men such as his father and his pastor, that many times while facing adversity, would stand to declare the Word of God. He made the declaration that he wanted the spirit of his pastor to be upon him in life, the inheritance received from a spiritual father to a son. But there is more there than an inheritance here, it is the legacy. His pastor's testimony is not mine to share, but what I have heard can only be defined as miraculous. God has had His hand up on this ma...

Sunday evening I had a conversation with someone that I did not want to have. I knew that it  was coming from the time I left for church that day. I  was not, however, prepared for the "we will be searching for a new church" statement that I was given. When I politely declined, I was told that I could fix my vehicle and drive my broken down SUV the 20 miles to church each service I chose to attend. That's all fine and dandy as I know if I ask, I will have a way to go. My church family will not leave me stranded. But that was not struck me about the entire conversation. He was incredulous that I would not even consider going to another congregation with him. How could I even dare not go to church where he wanted to go. Well, simple, he's got to want to go. History tells me that church is low on his priorities compared to sleep. I can almost guarantee that his current status of laying in the bed all day will continue. I told him that unless God told me to leave, that I ...

This week has hit me like a ton of bricks. The realization that the past 16 years of my life is at an end, by no fault of my own, coupled with the hard truth that I will never be a mother, a harsh reality that I have to make the decision and no one else. I'd be lying if I said that I had someone to talk me through this, someone that had "walked a mile in my shoes" so to speak. But there is no one in my immediate circle that has walked this road. I try to pray and all that I can muster are tears of anguish as silent screams escape from my lips. I try to speak and I can't even find the words to say. How do I do this?  I lie awake at night, trying to pray while he's working just beyond the other side of the wall from where I am. Hearing his voice all cheerful as he acts obliviously to the inner turmoil he has caused me. Sure, I've done the servitude bit for so long that I've turned a blind eye too it. After all, it's the for better or for worse,  in sickn...