Unapologetically Apostolic

Everywhere I have turned lately I have been given reminder after reminder of how much God had my life in His hands. Following the revival we had in May, I have had my eyes opened in so many ways. I didn't realize that I had been walking around with my eyes closed or with blinders on to prevent me from seeing what had been there all along.  About a month ago now, I was driving home following a Wednesday night service when the Josh Bladwin came on the radio as I crossed over the river bridge. It's a song I have heard probably 100 times or more but in that moment, the words of that song was used to remove those blinders and open my eyes. The words of the chorus were simple yet so profound, "I see the evidence of Your goodness all over my life, all over my life. I see Your promises in fulfillment all over my life, all over my life." I sit and ponder every moment, every detail of how God through His goodness, mercy and grace orchestrated steps, guided and protected until t...

We have had an incredible season of revival at my church. Over the past several months, we have seen souls come into the house of God to find freedom from the chains of bondage and addiction, souls who have found repentance and been filled with the Holy Ghost as well as backsliders finding their way home.  This season was one where I have personally walked through some of, it not the absolute toughest times of my life. It's no secret that I lost my husband of almost 18 years in September. The writings I have shared from that time to now have been a reflection of that season; from the acceptance of it all the way through the season of doubt I walked till now, the words were raw and much unedited because I just had to capture what was being said in my spirit. But I do believe my writing is about to take on a different type of composition.   As I drove home from service on Wednesday evening, I had the phrase of the 3Ms in my mind: manna, milk and the meat. Pastor had spent a...

I woke up this morning with a thought in my mind that I couldn't shake. And it just keep going and growing in my head. I'm going to try to express my thoughts here. I woke up thinking about seeds and planting, so naturally my mind went to the parable of the sower. Matthew 13:1-9 says "The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side.  And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the shore. And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;   And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:   Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:  And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.  And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:...

As I sit here in the quiet of the early spring evening, just listening to the silence and pressing to hear Your voice. Softly, the wind is blowing a light breeze as the love and laughter of a family gathering encircles me. I press closer and lean in. The only thing I hear is the words of a song ringing back in my spirit: "Word of God speak. Let it pour down like rain. Open my eyes to see your majesty. To be still and know that You're in this place. Lord let me stay at rest on Your holiness. Word of God speak."  I have sat and reflected on the words spoken that night, I cannot stop thinking about what I felt in that moment. How do I put into words the explosion that literally felt like a volcano erupting within me from a single word? A single touch?  At this point, I really wished I could recall everything Bro. Knowles said that evening as he prophesied but I can't.  I do know that it was a freeing word. Since that night, I feel as if I  have been shot out of a bow. L...

As I drove into work this morning, the sunrise painted an absolute masterpiece across the canvas of sky that sprawled before me. The dark midnight blue surrounded by the violets and indigos as it lightened into the reds, pinks and oranges before seeing the golden yellow of the sun. The clouds appeared as little wisps of the artist's brush or quick daubs to make the puffy clouds and to add depth.  As I beheld this beauty, I was taken back to almost 25 years ago. I attended a non-denominational church then that had a very large college and career group. Part of that reason was we had folks come in from a great number of churches in the area for our Monday night services. Through this, I was able to meet a young man named Tyson. To know Tyson was to love him. He had that type of personality you were drawn to. But outside of knowing him "at church", I knew nothing about him. Didn't know where he was from, where he had went to school, you know, the facts. Then came that fa...

A little over nine years ago, I sat down and started writing out what was supposed to be my testimony. I titled it "Patchworked and Pieced Together: A story of God's love and redemption.   But as I wrote, the story quickly became less about what God had done in my life and more about how jacked up my life had been. Oh, I told about how God had delivered me from the obvious sins in my life. I shared how I had been delivered from a homosexual/lesbian lifestyle, from alcoholism and drug addiction, all the while still caught up in other addictions and lifestyles.  At the time of writing, I began to focus on the who, why, what, how and when of every wrong that had ever been done to me in my life. I started at the beginning when I was conceived, the rejection of a father and then the unknown birth (my mother was told she would have a big boy yet delivered twin girls. I was a surprise to everyone, Dr's and nurses included). I allowed words that were exclaimed by a sur...