Fear not!

When I was a teenager, what feels like many moons ago (because it was), I fought fear in my life. I was afraid of everything. My biggest fear was of being a failure. My parents had instilled in me that I had to work hard and be my best at all times, demanding A's in school and anything less was unacceptable. The bar was set very high and I felt as if I was barely skimming over it, that my day of failure would inevitably come.

As I matured with age, that fear of failure never left me. I would get a job that I excelled at and without fail, I would sabotage myself in some way to keep from succeeding or being the best I could at it. The fear of failure lead me to fail.

Since April 27, 2011, many people who live in the Southeastern US have a fear of weather, specifically tornadic weather. That day changed the landscape across many states, costing millions of dollars and many lives. Even now, the mere mention of possible severe weather sends many into full scale panic attacks. 

I remember back to those teen years when my struggles began with fear. I reached out to a friend because I was suicidal but was too afraid to actually do it. Praise God for that fear! What she told me, I actually didn't get at the time. I was 16 or 17 years old and wanted her to tell me what I should do. Instead, she gave me a "homework" assignment. She wanted me to look up in the Bible every verse that mentioned fear.  I begrudgingly took upon the task. What I found kept me writing and reading for some time.

THREE HUNDRED AND SIXTY FIVE!!! That's how many verses there are that mentions fear. God knew that we would have fear in our lives so He gave us a verse for everyday. "Fear not for I am with thee." "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me." I could go on and on but you get my point.

I know that it is easy to give in to fear. I've let it hold me back for the past two years. I was afraid to let myself fully experience God to the fullest. I was afraid of what someone might say or think. I was afraid to walk in Truth because of my past. I've found myself praying for a sister that has a fearful spirit about her. The more I prayed, the more God asked me if I was listening to what I was saying. Of course I was. But tonight, I heard the words without just listening to the words. 

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