In the eye of the storm

This week has been extremely hard for me. My husband met me Monday evening when I got off work to do some laundry at the local laundromat (I had the detergent with me, he had the clothes with him). Within the two hours we were there, things quickly took a change. He has a conglomerate of health issues, any one of which could pose a life threatening emergency at any time. Well, high blood sugar reared it's ugly head. 

Once the laundry finished drying, I loaded the clean clothes up with me and he headed straight to our local ER to be checked out. When your blood glucose is high enough that it has to be checked through the lab, you have a big problem. And to top it off, his blood pressure was sky high as well. Immediately to the back he goes and emergency treatment begins. Insulin drips and bags of saline due to the dehydration (high blood sugar will do that to you), blood work and other labs checking for this or that. I go to bed not knowing the exact outcome, chance of ICU, admission for observation or being sent home.

When I awakened Tuesday morning, he had been admitted for observation and our journey began. Spending way too much time on the phone with insurance trying to find covered medications, all readings (blood sugar and pressure) still reading high, trying to be an advocate for my husband and getting my church to pray. That was just the first day. Each subsequent day has been another adventure of caring for him, all while watching his numbers remain the same despite medication. 

Friday arrives and we are set for discharge. We've already gotten some of his medications through the hospital pharmacy when they came in to do his discharge vitals check. Nope, got to call the doctor, blood pressure is way too high to go home yet. Then the chest pains and nausea starts. The nurse questions, "what, do you not want to go home?" Of course he wants to come home. If he wasn't experiencing discomfort, he wouldn't have said a word. We were about to be out the door.

He was transferred to the ICU and tonight he's take a little turn. His numbers look better but physically he has gotten worse. I can't explain it. But as I sit here, pondering over everything and questioning, I begin to hear a melody flowing from my heart:

In the eye of the storm, You remain in control. In the middle of a war, You guard my soul. You alone are my anchor when my sails are torn. Your love surrounds me in the eye of the storm.

I can choose to be like the disciples when Jesus was asleep in the boat, fearful and afraid, screaming wake up. Don't You care? Or I can let Him surround me in the eye of this storm. 

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